Cougar Attack

I was 20 years old, in the prime of my life,
I thought I knew a thing or two
I was smooth with the girls, was polite and well liked,
Had ample confidence too

I cycled and swam, played soccer, and hiked,
Y’know I even ran some track
Then one day in the wild, had to run for my life
It was a cougar attack!

That wild cat was looking to dine
T’was the most ferocious feline
She was close enough to hear her purr
But that cougar attack is a blur

And I thought as I fought her off
This won’t end well if I’m soft
So I stood my ground as I ought
To endure her forceful onslaught

I was prey to that cat, so I prayed off the bat
To bring my A-game to the meet
Yet it was me who was schooled, for despite all my cool
I was just a piece of meat

Yes, despite my physique, to a cat half my size
I found I wasn’t man enough
For although I could rise, with my eyes on the prize
Holding back was far too tough

That wild cat was looking to dine
T’was the most ferocious feline
She was close enough to hear her purr
But that cougar attack is a blur

She licked her lips and showed me her claws
Then proceeded to advance without pause
I thought I’d outsmart her with a deke
But alas, I’ll confess I was weak

With a cougar like that, in combat hand-to-hand
And some tongue to other parts too
It can come to an end, far more quickly than planned
Thus that day I learned something new

That cougar purred in my ear, as she licked me goodbye
And these words still haunt me today
T’was a lesson I learned, and it made me the guy
That I am to this very day:

Honey, I don’t care if you’re old or you’re young
Knowing how to use it matters more than being hung

That wild cat was looking to dine
T’was the most ferocious feline
She was close enough to hear her purr
But that cougar attack is a blur

That wild cat was looking to dine
T’was the most ferocious feline
She was close enough to hear her purr
But that cougar attack is a blur